Ten, Eleven, Twelve..... Thirteen Things....make that Fourteen!!

Now I know that we all love our children unconditionally, I mean that's just a given isn't it!! That uncrollable urge to nurture and provide for our offspring kicks in and somehow some things don't seam to matter like;

• When your toddler discovers that they can take off their poopy nappy and they do it on your carpet, better still in their cot then they play in it and draw pictures on their wall.........Awww that's OK I'll clen it up.


• When you cat mysteriously gets shut in the milk compartment of your fridge and isn't found for 30 minutes........That's OK we'll put a blanket on her and she'll warm up real quick!!


• When your baby is in a high chair and is experiencing new taste and textures, then decides that throwing it all over your kitchen, and your new white shirt makes a great game!.....Never mind I'll get changed.

Well, I decided that I can only tidy up, pick up and bark orders so many times a day before I know that it's a total waste of time.
In honour of Mothers Day I really wanted to make myself and all the other Mothers out there who can relate with me have a laugh, so I put together a list of ten things which I'm going to do to my children when they have flown the coop and have built their own little nest!!

1. I'm going to tell I'm only going to stay a few nights when really it's going to be at least 2 months before they get me out the door.


2. I'm going to leave a drop of pee on their toilet seat. Use up all the toilet paper and not replace the toilet roll, then on my way out I'm not going to flush or wash my hands!!! That'll impress their visitor which will be arriving in ten minutes.


3. I'm going to break something, something which I know I shouldn't have been touching in the first place......then I'm going to try and put it back together with "clag glue", that way it'll hold just long enough until I'm gone!!!


4. I'll drop my dinner on the floor under the table to make you think I ate it all up, then I'll sneak snacks from the pantry and hide bits of evidence under the lounge, under my bed or anywhere I can shove it, all because I know where the bin is I'm just too lazy to walk the ten steps to get there. And just for fun I put an Icypole under one of your scatter cushions


5. I'll go to the pantry and open everything which looks interesting and when I've decided I've eaten enough of it or I didn't really want it in the first place I'll just shove it back in anywhere it'll fit, hopefully when you go to get something out everything will either fall out onto the floor or be stale!!!!


6. I'm going to take my clothes off and leave them on the veranda, the lounge room, under a cushion, your car, hallway, your bedroom I'll even shove them in with the clean pile of washing if I'm not standing too far away from it.


7. I'm going to spread little bits of stuff all throughout your house like Leggo and Polly Pocket, then along with all the other crumbs and crap I've left lying around I'm going to sweep some of it up into a dust pan and dump it in your nice new car!!!!


8. When I have a shower I'm going to use a whole tin of shave cream and draw pictures with it all over the shower screen then finger paint in it, I'll dig holes in your soap put a small surprise in the hole then cover it back up. When I get out I'll stand on the tiles not the mat because it's already too wet! When I go to clean my teeth I'll smear toothpaste all over the mirror and taps and leave a big bit of spit running down the side of the sink.


9. I'll cry, whine and act sick if they ask me to help clean up!!


10. I'll eat lots of candy, leave the wrappers all over the house then with my sticky hands I'll touch and draw on every window in the house, touch every door knob and their computer mouse!!!!


11. I'll go into their rooms try on all their clothes and shoes, then dump them all in a big pile in the middle of their room.


12. Wake them up at the crack of dawn ( weekends only ) jumping around and banging on stuff, then I'll jump into bed with them.


13. Did I mention that I'll cry, whine and act sick if they ask me to help clean up!!
14. I'll start a fight as big as World War II or chuck a tantrum as soon as they get on the phone and can't hang up to stop me. It'll be worth it just to see them stomping their feet and shaking their fist at me while trying to mouth what they are going to do to me when they get off.

Now despite the fact that I could easily make this list much much longer and you now think I've got it in for my kids I don't, I love them very much and I wouldn't change a thing about them, I certainly couldn't imagine life without them.

Now once again in honour of Mothers Day I hope you all had a bit of a chuckle, and I know that most of you were nodding your heads while reading this......don't deny it.

Why don't you leave a comment and tell me some of your stories....so we can all have a chuckle at you!!!